Why grey matters?

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Having a melt down today.

Frayed round the edges, brain frazzled from hormonal sleep deprivation and feeling the rawness of being a woman.

My body won’t let me go near my ‘to do’ list and my spaghetti mind can’t even register any resulting anxiety.

 

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Tears bubble on the brink, easily spilling over with the slightest nudge. Overwhelmed at the thought of getting off the sofa to put the kettle on, leave alone to make some lunch. Need to feed the cat though he’s being unusually patient. Maybe he senses my mood as he sits close by watching me.


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Why am I even attempting to write this when I can hardly string a sentence together? Don’t know, somehow the words needed to reach out to the page and record this moment in all it’s messy glory.

 

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They tell me it’s good to mark and celebrate the fact that bad days, when I want to curl up and howl, are less frequent these days. In fact I can’t remember the last time I had a good cry.

 

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There was a time when it felt significant to record good days, those islands of sunshine dotted in a vast ocean of tears. Days when the gratitude for those chinks of light would illuminate my heart.

 

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Today, washed in a messy cold greyness that matches the winter sky, this page is my comfort.

Like a good friend who’s known me a long time she reminds me that this too shall pass.

 

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Hello, how are you today? How do you get through the greys?

For me creative expression, like writing, is my medicine, my sanctuary and my guiding light. Mindfulness saved me and keeps me sane. If you would like a bit of heartful inspiration and support to tap into your creative flow do sign up (on the top right) for email love to  keep you in touch with my online creative retreat offerings and other soulful treats.

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2 Comments

  • Sue Ann Gleason

    Reply Reply November 29, 2014

    Yes, for me too. My creative outlets and my writing have saved me on so many occasions. I have written my way through grief, snapped my way through apathy (How can you not light up when you capture all that beauty through the lens of a camera?)and painted my way through angst. The painting is more the process than the product. (A painter I’m not.) Loving your photos and the evolution of your writing.

  • Kāmini

    Reply Reply December 8, 2014

    Thanks Sue Ann. So glad to know that you find solace and inspiration in your creativity… and of course you share this so deliciously in your work x
    Kāmini recently posted…Awaken to Beauty

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